by Astrid Engels

As much as I love first dates, I’m so over them. All that
build up, all that pressure, the uncomfortable footwear;
it’s all a big fuss over what is really just one night of
your life. There are literally billions of articles written
about first dates, and yet I don’t think it is the most
important date.

Of course it’s special. After all, this is where two people
make their first impressions on each other. On the third
date, oh so “tradition” seems to dictate, we show our new
sweetie our sexy under things. Mind you these days that
magic moment can happen anywhere from before your first date
to your wedding night. However, most of my friends and I
seem to be part of the third date thrill.

The outing in between those two events, the sweet second
date, gets the shaft most of the time. No one pays attention
to this night but really, I think this is where the gold is
at, Think about it: you’re slightly more at ease and less
nerve-ridden than you were on the first date but the
overwhelming thoughts of sex are (maybe) waiting until the
next time you go out (for the record, I’m not a huge rules
girl, I’m just using the whole third-date-sex thing as an
example), but it’s still so early in the relationship that
you’re completely excited and everything is still brand new.

This is the dating sweet spot. And there are certain things
you can checklist to make sure you’re making the most of
this unique event:

Do a lot of listening

It’s time to put your listening ears on. Since you’re out
with this person a second time, you obviously made a good
impression on the first date. You can let go of the
nervousness and put your brain back into gear. Start by
focusing more on being genuinely interested in your new
sweetie and less on making yourself look amazing. This is
your opportunity to learn more about your date and watch him
or her become a more complete person.

Flirt it up

It’s actually important that you do (not to make flirting
seem like a super serious matter or anything crazy like
that); date number two is where too many people slip into
the friend zone. If you appear to be sincerely interested in
what your date is saying and laughing at their jokes and
obviously enjoy their company but there are pretty much no
sexual undertones to the evening, your date is going to
think you just want to be friends.

And if that’s what you want than fine, but you probably
don’t. Make your intentions clear by bringing on your “A”
game.

Never mind the boxes

Boxes, as in preconceived notions; about this person, this
“maybe” relationship and even yourself. You’ve only been out
together once, so now is not the time to make assumptions.
The fact is that you don’t know who this person is yet, nor
do you know how they perceive you. It’s way too soon to put
this relationship into a neatly labeled box.

This post was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com
(http://www.datepad.com) free internet dating company where
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